The Good Side Of The Drought

By NEIL JOHNSON The Tampa Tribune

Published: May 25, 2007

TAMPA - There’s no doubt the drought’s anaconda grip is causing serious problems in Florida. Wildfires, crunchy lawns and hefty water bills for Tampa customers, to name a few.

And although there’s little chance of relief in this week’s forecast, there are a few linings of at least pewter — if not silver — in the clouds we don’t have.

In no particular order, the drought can:

1.Prevent you from being the main course for mosquitoes at a backyard barbecue.

“We’re getting fewer calls.”

Carlos Fernandez, director of Hillsborough County Mosquito Control

2. Inject a bit of Tiger Woods into duffers when drives roll on hard fairways.

“You can get a good 20 yards extra. The ball doesn’t just plug and stop.”

Adam Cain, assistant golf professional at Tampa Palms Golf and Country Club

3. Keep a miasmic cocktail of runoff from flowing into waterways.

4. Defrizz hair for fewer scary hair days because humidity is death to the do.

“It can be, but with the right products, you can control it.”

Amber Smith, at Shear Art Salon in Carrollwood

5. Avoid needing to use Plan B for outdoor weddings and events.

“In Florida, you always have a plan and have a backup plan.”

Valerie DiVeccio, president of Divine Creations and Event Planners

6. Cut the number of fender benders that come from wet roads.

7. Turn shrinking ponds and lakes into cafeterias for wading birds.

“Very much so. And it may expose mud flats for migrating shore birds.”

Mark Kiser, coordinator for the Great Florida Birding Trail

8. End traffic cone conventions early because road projects don’t need rain days.

“Days are not being added for inclement weather.”

Leo Folsom, Department of Transportation

9. Stunt the grass so you don’t need to mow the lawn as often.

10. Reveal which neighbors cheat on the water restrictions (the ones with green lawns).

11. Eliminate humidity so an after-work run or bike ride isn’t like exercising in a steam room.

12. Let workers dredge tons of mucky sediment from diminished Lake Okeechobee to expose the natural sand bottom.

When the lake fills, “an explosion of plant growth will result.”

South Florida Water Management District news release

Many of these come with a “yeah, but then” attached.

Mosquitoes are few now, but when it rains, they will be everywhere. Any biting you now, though, probably come from some water-filled container in your yard.

An extra 20 yards on a drive means an errant shot can go 20 yards farther and you still have to putt.

No runoff now means a huge dose of the gunk on roads washed into retention ponds when it does rain.

Birds may dine well now. But without rain, the lakes and ponds disappear and so does the food.

Dry roads mean fewer minor crashes, but the first light rain floats all the oil to the surface and roads become like ice.

Road projects aren’t delayed by rain, but contractors spend extra time controlling dust and waiting for permits to burn land-clearing debris.

You can tell the water scofflaws, but your lawn is dead as asphalt.